the art of getting through

I have really been through the ringer with my short 19 years of life. I have had to deal with some tough, heart-wrenching things most of which have been really unfair. 

But then, who hasn't? 

I honestly have surprised myself with the ability of getting through these tough situations and being able to move forward. I'm not saying that to give myself a nice pat on the back, but cause it's honestly surprising. 

I ask myself a lot "How did I get through that?" and "How am I ok now?" or "How does anyone get through anything??"

I think these questions can be answered that as human beings we are simply born to hope.  The desire to believe, to look forward to better days, to expect them - it seems to be ingrained into our being.  I think it is part of our make-up as spirit children of our Heavenly Father that we know that there is something greater ahead.  So when trials face us, we press forward and hope for the happy ending. We can't help ourselves. 

Another thing is perspective. A lot of it. 

I have found that I am not the only person who lives with a broken heart. Imagine that, out of the over 7 billion people on the planet, I'm not the only one?? Crazy.  

But really, having the perspective that there are other people out there that have gone through just what you are going through (and survived) really helps a lot. We are all going through this test of life together and have experienced many similar trials. 

Also, knowing that there are people out there that have gone through much worse than you always makes you grateful for the trials that you do have. This does not make your feelings any less valid however. I've always loved the quote "Saying that someone can't be sad cause someone might have it worse is like saying someone can't be happy cause someone else may have it better." You are justified in your feelings, but always keep the big picture perspective in mind to help you through. 

Another thing is time. Now I do not believe in the saying that "time heals all wounds". Time doesn't heal anything. At least not for now. I can be doing fine and good for months when all of a sudden I'll see or hear something that sends me spiraling. What time does is blur the memories. The more time passes, the more memories blur and you begin to forget the details.  You are able to look back and forget what it felt like cause it's all been blurred over by time.

 Time is a sneaky thing, it creeps up on you. You're just living your life and suddenly 6 months have gone by and you realize that you are, in fact, doing pretty darn good. 

Last year, my sister had to go through the unthinkable. It was something that effected everyone in our family and we all felt the pain of it.  A year has passed since then and the pain and memories of that time have been blurred.  And we're all going to be ok.  

Remember that you are never alone. You've got people who love and care about you that are waiting to help you. I've been blessed with some really great people in my life that have helped me get through the worst of the worst. Lucky for us we also have the ultimate listeners, healers and friends to help and comfort us, Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father.  

Have patience, especially with yourself. It is all going to work out. A year ago, I would have never imagined myself in the position I am in, but I have to trust in my Heavenly Father's plan for me. He is not going to stop the difficult and sometimes traumatic things from happening in our lives, but he is there to guide and comfort. We were given this life as a test to see if we can live faithfully and endure to the end to live with Him again. And He wants us desperately to make us back to Him. 

So it shouldn't be surprising at all that I have made it this far, I've got an entire heavenly host on the other side of the veil cheering me on and wanting me to succeed and I don't plan on letting them down.

The best advice I can give to anyone going through hard times, is "Come what may and love it." Which is from one of my all time favorite talks given by Joseph B. Wirthlin. 

I've been through some pretty hard times and I know that I still have some hard times coming. A lot of the time I don't understand why they happen, ok try all the time. But the best thing you can do is accept what has happened and move forward. 

He says in his talk,

"How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we 

suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she was 

suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended 

happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life."

I'll tell you right now, that bad days come to an end and that it all works out. 

It may not feel like it right now in the midst of this crazy, turned around world, but it will. 

The hard things you have to go through now are preparing you for the person that your Heavenly Father wants you to become.  

I am still healing, but that doesn't mean I won't ever be healed. Over coming does take time, but I know that some of our hardest times can turn into the times of greatest happiness.