decision to serve

I am so excited to share that I have decided to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  My papers have been submitted and now the waiting game begins! 

I have truly never felt so much, joy, excitement, fear, anxiousness, and eagerness in my life! But through all of these differing emotions, I have felt an overwhelming amount of peace and love that comes from my Savior.  

If you would have asked me 2 years ago if I was planning on serving a mission my answer would have been a definite no.  It wasn't for me, I was just going to graduate high school, go to college and get married.  But, as I've said before,  my Heavenly Father has a different plan for me.  It took many, many promptings and offerings of sincere prayers in order for me to let go of my stubbornness, unwillingness, and fear and accept that I was going to be a missionary. 

I needed to be humbled, obedient, and follow the promptings of the spirit.

Through my decision to serve as well as the experiences I have had lately in my life, I have learned to truly trust in the Lord.  I may have a lot of doubts in my abilities to teach, serve, and learn as a missionary.  I may be downright terrified of leaving my loved ones and dedicating myself to the Lord's work for 18 months, but my Heavenly Father has perfect faith in me. He knows me, better than I know myself and knows of my potential.  He will bless, strengthen, guide, and comfort me as I am willing to humble myself and accept His help. 

A scripture that encompasses this promise perfectly is Ether 12:27 

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." 

I am weak. But I know if I truly put myself into the Lord's hands, he will guide me and mold me into the person I need to become. 

This gospel and the knowledge that I have, give me strength and it is a strength that I want others to know that they can possess also.  I would not have been able to make it through this past year without  the knowledge that this life is eternal, that we have a chance to live with our Father in Heaven and families for eternity.  There is much pain, sorrow, and difficulties in this life that we will have to face, but if we do our part, by coming unto Christ, humbling ourselves, repenting of our sins, living obediently and enduring to the end, we will have an everlasting happiness.  

I want others to know what they are capable of as sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father.  I want them to know that they are truly loved, because I have felt of this love and it is truly overwhelming the love that God has for his children.  I want to share this love and this light of the gospel with everyone.  I know that there are people in the world waiting and willing to hear this message.  People out there waiting for ME. What a crazy, amazing thought.

I want others to know that they can truly be HAPPY.  Holy cow.  If there is one thing that this gospel has taught me is that through living its principles, we can find happiness. This is a happiness that can not be fulfilled by any earthly possessions or desires, but the all encompassing joy and happiness felt by being obedient to God's commandments.  President Hinkley said:

"Do you want to be happy? Forget yourself and get lost in this great cause."

And this cause is great.  The Lord is hastening His work and I can't wait to find out where He plans on sending me. 

These next two and a half weeks better fly by. (insert nervous face emoji here)