So much learning, re-learning and still learning. Growth and uncomfortable-ness. Happiness and sorrow. And through it all just indescribable joyful moments. I met so many incredible, wonderful people that I know without a doubt I was supposed to be there for members, non-members, companions. Heavenly Father sent me to North Carolina for specific reasons, purposes, and people. I could talk about just any gospel topic I learned from my mission but I felt impressed upon today to talk about trusting in God’s plan, having faith in Jesus Christ and accepting His will for us.
I’ve come to have a better understanding of what God’s plan for me really means. As a perfectionist I always tend to worry on making the “right” choice. That there needs to be a “right” way to do everything. And if I don’t do it that one right way than somehow I am disappointing Heavenly Father. It made missionary work sometimes pretty challenging for me because I would feel like there was some “right” way to do it and somehow I was doing it wrong if we weren’t finding success. Of course there is a wrong way to do missionary work and that’s apostasy, but I’m not talking about that.
Something that I learned however is there is no “right” pattern or plan that works for everyone. God does not dictate every choice we make. It isn’t God’s will for us to make specific wrong choices. It’s God’s will that we have the opportunity to choose for ourselves. He doesn’t ever force us to comply. I experienced this when I received the strongest prompting in my life to serve a mission. I didn’t want to serve a mission. I had a completely different plan all laid out in my mind. Heavenly Father didn’t tell me “you better serve a mission or else!” It was an invitation. God was inviting me to trust in Him and that He knows better than we do. But it was ultimately in the end my choice. I had to surrender up my will for something far better than what I thought imaginable.
There’s a quote from a recent blog post on LDS.org titled “You’re not messing up God’s plan for you” in it she states,
“I’m learning that God is much less a divine dictator who demands perfect compliance to a predetermined plan for our individual lives and much more a co-creator with us of the kind of lives we want to live. I’m learning that His plan for me is a lot less like a laser-crossed minefield and a lot more of a journey of coming to know myself and coming to know Him.”
There is room in God’s plan for mistakes and that is because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We are all never going to be perfect in this life and all Jesus Christ cares about is that we are trying. My dear Mission President once said, “As long as you never quit trying you are on safe ground with your Heavenly Father.”
In order to be able to make these choices and to keep on trying we need Faith. And this faith must be rooted in our savior Jesus Christ. In Preach My gospel it says, “When you have faith in Christ, you believe in Him as the Son of God, the Only Begotten of the Father in the Flesh. You accept Him as your Savior and Redeemer and follow His teachings. You believe that your sins can be forgiven through His Atonement. Faith in Him means that you trust Him and are confident that He loves you... When you have faith in Jesus Christ, you trust the Lord enough to follow His commandments—even when you do not completely understand the reasons for them. You accomplish what the Lord wants you to accomplish. You help bring about good in your own life and the lives of others. You are able to do miracles according to the Lord’s will. Your faith will be manifest through diligence and work.”
President Uchtdorf said “Faith means that we trust not only in God’s wisdom but that we trust also in His love. It means trusting that God loves us perfectly, that everything He does—every blessing He gives and every blessing He, for a time, withholds—is for our eternal happiness.”
I was in my 2nd area on my mission; a place called Wake Forest, (the town not the university.) It was known throughout the mission to be pretty tough due to the fact that the Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary resided about a mile from our apartment. They proved to be a pretty tough crowd and tracting was not a walk in the park. My companion and I were desperately trying to find. We received a church headquarters referral from a member who lives in Idaho. She sent us a referral for her friend Lynda. They had grown up together and Lynda had gone to church with her when they were young and always said she wanted to be a Mormon when she grew up. We scheduled an appointment with her and we went by and taught her, she enjoyed the visit, but was very comfortable in her faith. We didn’t go back for a couple of weeks until one night we were out with a member delivering cookies and we had the thought to stop by Lynda. She was so thankful for our visit and seemed much more interested this time than the last so we began meeting with Lynda on almost a weekly basis. I had some of the most spiritual lessons of my life in Lynda’s home. One particular lesson stands out in my mind. Lynda had been reading from the Book of Mormon and praying about it but didn’t feel like she had received an answer if it was true yet. She asked us to pray for her and I asked her if she wanted to pray right now. She asked me to offer it and we all kneeled down. The words just flowed without any thought. I prayed that Lynda would know that the Book of Mormon was true, that Joseph Smith was the prophet of the Restoration and that she would find her answer as to be baptized or not. I couldn't tell you the words I said exactly, but it was one of the most powerful prayers I've ever offered. At the end, I asked Lynda how she felt now, she said "I know the Book of Mormon is true. I’m gonna be Mormon y’all!” I got transferred very soon after that lesson with Lynda. The sisters continued to meet with her and she had a baptismal date. Unfortunately at this time, Lynda has chosen not to be baptized. This of course was not the outcome I nor my companion wanted or desired for Lynda, but I have learned that strong faith in the Savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives and in the lives of others—even if the outcome is not what we hoped for or wanted. I know Lynda knows that the gospel is true and that her time will come and my life was richly blessed by meeting her. Elder Bednar has said, “Thus, even if we have strong faith, many mountains will not be moved. And not all of the sick and infirm will be healed. If all opposition were curtailed, if all maladies were removed, then the primary purposes of the Father’s plan would be frustrated.”
However, faith can and will bring miracles. I do not know everything about the Lord’s timing, but for some reason it was exactly right when I came to my 3rd area, Pinehurst. I met a family there that forever changed my life. The Collins family. The Collins family faithfully attended church each week, went to activities, took their two teenage children to EFY in Utah, went on Trek, and completed their home and visiting teaching monthly. Sister Collins did all of those things without actually being a baptized member of the church. Brother and Sister Collins have been married for 20 years and she has been considered an investigator for all that time. She has met with countless missionaries over the years, heard the discussions over and over again, and has been invited to baptism on numerous occasions. We had even been warned by Brother Collins not to push her and not to invite. During a lesson in their home one evening after dinner, the spirit spoke to my companion and she invited Sister Collins to hear the lessons again and without skipping a beat she said yes. Just a month later I had the incredible privilege of watching Sister Collins be baptized by her son Logan. It was a 20 year miracle in the making and I can’t imagine the countless prayers that were offered by Sister Collins family and friends and the faith that they showed that all things will be done according to the Lord’s will and timing.
I met so many incredible faithful men and women on my mission. I don’t know why some people get baptized and some people don’t. I don’t know why some prayers are answered and some are not. But I do know that none of us are alone in this mortal journey we call life.
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