As you can see from the title of this post, I'm talking about regret. It is something that has been on my mind a lot lately and I have a whole lot of them. I'm sure everyone in this universe has something they wish they could go back and change, just have a do-over. Maybe you said the wrong thing, made a wrong choice, or mistake. Although I feel a lot of regret over things like that, the regret I have been feeling most is not recognizing or appreciating the time that we have, whether it be with certain people, in a certain place, or a certain time of our life.
The very poor habit that I have fallen into is thinking that I have more time than I do. I think, "I don't have time for that now, but maybe in a year or two when everything is working out and going to plan. I'm going to have time then." Well, guess what? YOU DON'T. News flash Hayley Dearden, life is never going to be working out perfectly enough so that you can have all the time to do the things you want! You never know when your time is going to run out, so why not start living the life that you want right NOW? You don't have to have the most perfect circumstances in order to be happy.
In high school I would always think to myself that once I graduated things would be better, once I was in college I would be ok, once I was married then I would be happy. I was in far too much of hurry and thought that if I could just make it through then everything would magically be all better. It makes me think of the quote by President Hinkley, "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." I have definitely needed that reminder much more often than I should. Doesn't it seem so silly to ruin all the wonderful and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating when they will end?
I have spent too much time just enduring, when I should have been enjoying.
It caused me to take advantage of a lot of things that I wish I hadn't.
It caused me to be selfish.
It caused me to put too much pressure on others to make me happy.
It caused a lot of bitterness.
All in all, it just made me really unhappy and left me with a whole heaping load of regret. I wish that the person I am now could go back and tell the person I was what a selfish git I was being and to recognize what I have before it is gone. You never know when your time with someone is going to end, so let them know you love them when you can. Now I'm not saying that I haven't enjoyed many moments of my life. I have felt the most indescribable joy and incandescent happiness during my short time here
and they are moments I will always remember. I have so many really good memories, I have to remind myself not to let the bad over-shadow the good.
I want to get rid of this "woe is me" attitude that I have had, but it is going to take a lot of work.
I hope that I can cultivate an attitude of happiness and of gratitude, no matter what my circumstances may be, so that I can prevent any further regret from happening. I hope that I don't miss out on any more chances to give my very best self and undivided time to the people I love most. I hope that I can stop looking to the future hoping for this or that to happen, but to be happy right NOW.
I can no longer afford to take for granted one single day, because there is something to bring us gratitude and joy if only we see it. There are people out there that need to be encouraged, uplifted and reminded of their worth if only we can put away our own selfishness, forget ourselves, and serve.
I am on the pursuit of happiness folks, I hope you'll join me.
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